What version of you is
showing up each day?

What trauma actually is.

Trauma is what happens inside the nervous system when an experience overwhelms our capacity to make sense of it at the time.

The event ends. The imprint stays.

The body keeps responding as if the threat is still in the room, even years later.

For some people, it’s a single identifiable event.

For most of us, it isn’t. It’s a series of smaller experiences, repeated, that taught the nervous system to look out for signals to keep you safe.

But in fact, those signals may not be appropriate for your everyday life. And therefore it ends up running the show as if you were still in your traumatic experience.

Curious about the way I approach this? More about how I work.

The brain's alarm system.

When something overwhelms us, the brain’s old alarm system, the amygdala, switches on to keep us safe. Fight, flight, freeze, fawn. Useful in the moment.

The trouble is when it stays switched on long after the danger has passed, firing at things that aren’t actually threats. Much of the work is helping that alarm system learn it’s safe now.

Recognising that alarm system in yourself? Get in touch.

"Trauma is not what happens to you. Trauma is what
happens inside you as a result of what happens to you."
Gabor Maté

What trauma isn't.

It isn't a competition.

“Other people have had it worse” is the most common reason people don’t get help. Your nervous system doesn’t rank your experiences against anyone else’s. It responds to what happened to you.

It isn't a personality.

The anxious one, the angry one, the people-pleaser, the over-achiever, the one who can’t sit still. These are usually adaptations, not who you are.

It isn't something you have to relive to heal.

This is the myth I most want to break. Modern trauma work does not require dragging you back through the worst of it. The whole point of twenty years of clinical training and experience is knowing how to do this work without re-traumatising you.

It isn't permanent.

The brain has plasticity – it’s learned something that doesn’t serve you – and it can learn something new. That’s not a myth. That’s neuroscience.

Any of that landing? Reach out via my contact form.

How trauma
actually shows up.

Not always as flashbacks. Often in the simple, day-to-day stuff that you don’t even realise is happening.

Losing your temper again

Shouting at your kids or losing your fuse with the people you love most over something tiny, carrying the guilt with you all day.

The same partner template

Finding yourself in another broken relationship because you chose a partner who feels familiar, even when they can’t meet your needs.

Parenting from your own past

Reacting to your children in the exact ways you swore you never would when you were a child.

Being a resentful "yes" person

Saying yes because you cannot say no to someone, then feeling completely exhausted and resentful for doing it.

An inner critic that isn't yours

A constant, harsh voice in your head that judges everything you do, sounding suspiciously like someone who hurt you.

A body that won't turn off

Lying awake at 3 AM or sitting on the sofa, yet feeling a constant, invisible urge to brace, run, or perform.

If any of that sounded familiar, you’re in the right place. Explore ways to work together.

What healing
actually looks like.

A lot of trauma actually sits in your body. Contrary to popular belief, healing isn’t necessarily a case of reliving your past, although talking and reframing your memories is enormously helpful.

Trauma-focused CBT and EMDR can help you process distressing memories and update the meanings attached to them, including beliefs about yourself, other people and your safety. This helps those experiences have their place in the firmly in the past, reducing their emotional and physical impact so you have more freedom to respond to life as it is now.

A great deal of this work is about shifting your perspectives, moving your body, thinking about your breath, and finding practical ways to move you forward.

It can be surprisingly quick before you start seeing marked changes in the way that you feel. And when you feel differently, you start to behave differently, and others around you will as well.

Curious what that could look like for you? Get in touch.